Words about my Brother

June 19, 2010

My Brother

Sue McGroarty Simonson

“Some men leave their mark on the world by the way they live and the difference they make in the lives they touch” I stand here today overwhelmed by the numbers and depth with which my brother touched lives

world-wide.

I’m Mike’s “lit’l sis”- I’ve known him my entire life! He was the brother who spent years trying to convince me I was adopted, that told our Mom when I was 13 to let me wear make-up because “Really Mom, she needs it!” He was the brother all my girlfriends wanted to be around because he was so “dreamy” and they carried secret crushes on him. He was the bass player in the band “So Rare” and I loved listening to him practice in the garage. The bass he played then, 45 years ago, is the same bass being played today by his nephew.

He was crowned “Coed King” in high school, led the marching band as the drum major and truthfully was always a bit of a pyromaniac at home.

As we became adults, we grew to be closer friends. I remember one particularly hard time in my life when he called and reached my soul as he said, “I love you, sis, you know that, I love you.”

He never lost his humor, even as the pain from cancer became excoriating. I cherish hearing him quip with the hospice nurse, just 3 weeks ago, as she explained their services which included pet therapy. Mike immediately exclaimed, “Pet therapy that is great because our dog really needs some therapy!”!

My brother, the hero, was a very humble man and I count that as one of his most cherished characteristics. He has done so much, served so many, faced non- ending danger, including his cancer, had so many adventures, b

ut to him…it was just what he did—no bragging, no drawing attention to himself-just humble—which is the mark of a true hero.

In May of 1997, Mike wrote to our family:

“After you take a deep breath or two, I want you to look at the newspaper, go to the mall, walk down your street or anyone’s street. And tell me what you see. Look at these people closely, brush aside your feelings for just a brief moment. Where has God put you in the great picture of life? Tell me if you don’t feel lucky, you don’t feel special and life isn’t fair. When I get sad or angry abo

ut something or someone and start feeling that I am not getting a break, I start thinking of all those folks I have had the opportunity to help, to comfort or just pick up when they fell. I say to myself, I really don’t have it that bad compared to the these other folks. I guess I should start looking at the other side of sadness and depression and start telling myself how lucky I am to have what I have. I will share a story on Friday with a bunch of young folks that won’t fully understand the feelings and emotions of what 169 families where forced to go th

rough 2 years ago and are having to re-live again during the trial of the people that caused those emotions.

I will get off my soapbox, however it is not over until the fat lady sings, and I have not seen the fat lady hanging out lately. So you see, there is nothing to worry about- It is OK to be tired---it is OK to rest---But we can’t stop doing our jobs. Everyone is in this together.”

His words from 1997 are words I feel certain he is telling us all today.

I cannot end without sharing the amazing love I observed between Mike and DeeDee. I would come to their home and find joy in just listening to them laughing together-even through the struggles of cancer, there was laughter and love. Of their love I can say- you never really knew where one ended

and the other began.

One year ago I had the privilege of being baptized with my brother by my son in his son’s pool. What a glorious moment we shared as we were able to proclaim our shared faith in the resurrected Christ, our Lord and Savior.

Mike had a favorite hymn throughout his years- The Old Rugged Cross-the chorus reads:

“So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross till my trophies at last I lay down. I will cling to that old rugged cross and exchange it someday for a crown

.”

Mike –You have that crown now and His Glory forever you share.

I love You, I miss you—I will see you again in Glory.

IF

This writing was given to my brother Mike by our Dad as he was about to marry Dee Dee. Mike in turn gave it to his son Michael C. as he became a man.
It was read by Rick at Mike's memorial service to share how Mike live his life and the lessons he passed down to us all-
If
By Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with triumph and disaster And treat those two imposters just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools; If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on"; If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Chief Mike McGroarty- 9/2/1949-6/7/2010

Mike's Life
By Ryan Miller

J. Michael McGroarty, 60, who braved disasters around the country and world to protect the lives of thousands and educated others to protect the lives of countless more, died in his Corona, Calif., home on June 7, 2010, after a hard-fought battle with prostate cancer.
Mike was born Sept. 2, 1949, in Los Angeles to Charles and Jane McGroarty. He graduated from Pacifica High School in Garden Grove, then achieved a bachelor’s degree in public administration from the University of La Verne. He also held associate’s degrees in fire technology and paramedical science from Rancho Santiago College, as well as a Lifetime California Community College teaching credential.
He gave 27 years of service to the La Habra Fire Department (including 10 years as an emergency medical technician-paramedic, six years as a captain, eight years as a battalion chief, and seven years as fire chief), then retired in 2001 to provide the state the benefit of his lifesaving expertise through the California Governor’s Office of Emergency Services. His titles and the programs he led are too numerous to list, but included the State Urban Search and Rescue Response Program, the State/National Urban Search and Rescue Training Program, terrorism and weapons of mass destruction-related operations, flood and swift water rescues, and Hazmat operations planning.
When large-scale tragedy struck, Mike’s expertise saved lives. He instructed in rescue operations for California’s Office of the State Fire Marshal, the California Office of Emergency Services, and the FEMA Urban Search and Rescue Response System Advanced Task Force. He developed statewide incident management guidelines, consulted on safety protocol, and designed disaster contingency plans for businesses.
Over the years, he responded to emergency situations near and far, including the Leninakan earthquake in Soviet Armenia; the Loma Prieta earthquake; Hurricane Emily; the Northridge earthquake; and the Oklahoma City Federal Building Bombing.
He cited his most memorable response as coordinating the first wave of California’s Urban Search and Rescue task forces sent to New York City on Sept. 11, 2001. His work there integrated New York Fire Department and FEMA rescue efforts in the face of confusion and extremely hazardous conditions.
Mike retired from the Office of Emergency Services in 2004 and began work as a contract instructor for large-scale disaster incident management.
Mike McGroarty is survived by Dee McGroarty, his one true love and wife of 40 years; son Mike and daughter-in-law Destiny McGroarty; daughter Kelly McGroarty; granddaughter Brittany Sherman; grandson Garrett McGroarty; mother Jane McGroarty; sister Katee Cross; and sister Sue Simonson.
True to his proud Irish heritage, Mike valued love, friendship, and loyalty—characteristics he revealed to all who met him. He was often described simply as a hero.
In lieu of flowers, please send memorial contributions in Mike’s name to City of Hope (cityofhope.org) or the National Disaster Search Dog Foundation (searchdogfoundation.org).